Stumbling at Sleep Training
Other than the first night we haven't been having much success at getting Molly to bed earlier than 10/11pm nor getting her to fall asleep in her crib. It is driving me to tears practically every night to listen to her cry and scream even for a few minutes. I feel terrible and guilty about it because I'm just trying to help her but it isn't working. It is truly heartbreaking to listen to your child cry. With permission from our pediatrician we put her back on her acid reflux medication and hopefully that will help. I don't know if I'm strong enough or patient enough to sleep train her but we will still keep trying a little bit at a time.
Strides
Besides the sleep training I have actually managed to get some things done around our place and Molly has been working on growing up fast. It only took me since March to get curtains sewn and up in Molly's room. I'm really proud of how adorable they look.
Molly is working really hard on her teething and loves her teething corn! It was recommended to us from my cousin's wife who has one for their son.
Molly is even working hard at trying to feed herself from the bottle! She has been grasping at the bottle and trying to hold it practically since birth but now she is getting my successful at holding it up with milk in it! My little girl is growing up!
"I Need Help!"
Story time:
When I was a very young child I shared a room with my older sister so that she could yell for my parents when I tried to climb out of my crib. I was a perpetual climbing and one of the first phrases I was taught as a child was "I need help!" It came in very useful. I have a few stories that are often told about me, how my parents would hear me say the phrase and look over but couldn't find me only to then realize that I was hanging high up on a book shelf. Another time, when my Aunt was babysitting my sister and I, her stairs were blocked with a baby gate and I decided I wanted to go upstairs anyway so I climbed the outside of the stairs. When I asked for help my Aunt came running to see me hanging off the stairs over her marble floor. Needless to say I was a bit of a dare devil as a child.
The reason I'm telling you these stories and memories are because of the realization that although "I need help" was one of my first phrases as a child I have found it increasingly harder as an adult to ask for help. The past week or so has been as hard on me as, how I remember it, from when we first came home from the hospital with Molly. I have been doubting my ability to be a mother, understanding my child and her wants/needs, contributing to my little family, and not suffocating myself with pressure. The word "should" is a killer. There are so many expectations of what parents provide for their child, how they provide it, development milestones, on top of being an adult, paying bills, making meals, doing laundry, and trying to keep a child that can't communicate effectively alive. I know that a lot of the pressure I put on myself isn't always realistic much less having the expectations set in stone. Molly will develop at her own rate and I should be there to guide and support her. I try to give my best everyday but sometimes my best is not making it out of drool covered pajamas or showering that day, but as long as she is fed and in pretty good health it is a successful day. We, as a society, do not live in the communities that foster a village raising a child. It is difficult to raise a child with no support, but I'm incredibly blessed to have the copious amounts of support, I just need to relearn how to ask for help again.
Enough with sad stuff, today's Helpful Hint: An inexpensive way to put bumpers on furniture is with pool noodles, simply cut through the ring and creating a "c" from the "o" and wrap in around sharp edges of furniture.
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