What a Week!

It is always amazing what a difference a week can make in your life. Last week I was struggling with so many things but I have decided to really try hard to focus on the positive aspects of this whole journey. I have improved leaps and bounds from the 6 months since Molly was born. She is the light of my life, most of the time. This blog is about being honest, parenting is hard and not always rewarding but what is these days?

Refocusing

When you have a child it is really easy for that to take over your entire life but sometimes you need to remember to step back, focus on your relationship, friendships, the core elements that make you, you. This weekend I went on a really great lunch date with my husband where we ate warms meals with both hands simultaneously, it is surprising how rare that occurs for us these days. It was okay that we talked about Molly for most of the meal but we got a break and we decided what to talk about, not out of necessity but preference. We also did a little family outing to the barbershop and our local deli where was have been practically family for years. I have been able to get a good bit of knitting done (holidays are coming up!) My husband and I also managed to play some video games together, something we loved doing pre-Molly. My creative juices have been gearing up and I have so many ideas of stuff I want to make/create and it is great to feel that way again.

Food progress

Hooray for apples! Molly is really starting to like applesauce which I find to be a huge relief since I really enjoy apples, although we haven’t graduated to my favorites, Granny Smith.

I have also purchased some bananas that we will be trying out, possibly even allowing her to feed herself. At her 6 month check up today we were given the all clear on foods so we will start to experiment more and while I’m apprehensive I find that I’m also excited to see what she likes and dislikes. Also on the food front I will be stopping my milk intake to see if that helps with some of her digestive issues. We believe that is a huge factor of her sleep problems and so we have decided to first focus on resolving the tummy trouble before attempting sleep training again. On the carrot front, if you can remember the carrottastrophy, she isn’t a fan of cooked carrots in purée form but she enjoys gnawing on raw carrot sticks and she looks adorable doing it!

Here she is even holding her own bottle! We are just starting to try out sippy cups!

Today's Helpful Hint: if you are buying multiple packages of diapers tape the receipt to the side of one of the packages in case you need to exchange them for a bigger size, then you don't have to go searching!

On a sad note we will be moving this blog to WordPress, so the website will be mommyandmolly.wordpress.com. I will continue to keep you updated with the new page.

Sweet Potato Success

I am officially declaring sweet potatoes a success! I plan on making some apple purée and possibly even some mango purée this weekend (mangoes were on sale at the grocery store).

Stumbling at Sleep Training

Other than the first night we haven't been having much success at getting Molly to bed earlier than 10/11pm nor getting her to fall asleep in her crib. It is driving me to tears practically every night to listen to her cry and scream even for a few minutes. I feel terrible and guilty about it because I'm just trying to help her but it isn't working. It is truly heartbreaking to listen to your child cry. With permission from our pediatrician we put her back on her acid reflux medication and hopefully that will help. I don't know if I'm strong enough or patient enough to sleep train her but we will still keep trying a little bit at a time. 

Strides

Besides the sleep training I have actually managed to get some things done around our place and Molly has been working on growing up fast. It only took me since March to get curtains sewn and up in Molly's room. I'm really proud of how adorable they look.

Molly is working really hard on her teething and loves her teething corn! It was recommended to us from my cousin's wife who has one for their son.

Molly is even working hard at trying to feed herself from the bottle! She has been grasping at the bottle and trying to hold it practically since birth but now she is getting my successful at holding it up with milk in it! My little girl is growing up!

"I Need Help!"

Story time:

When I was a very young child I shared a room with my older sister so that she could yell for my parents when I tried to climb out of my crib. I was a perpetual climbing and one of the first phrases I was taught as a child was "I need help!" It came in very useful. I have a few stories that are often told about me, how my parents would hear me say the phrase and look over but couldn't find me only to then realize that I was hanging high up on a book shelf. Another time, when my Aunt was babysitting my sister and I, her stairs were blocked with a baby gate and I decided I wanted to go upstairs anyway so I climbed the outside of the stairs. When I asked for help my Aunt came running to see me hanging off the stairs over her marble floor. Needless to say I was a bit of a dare devil as a child. 

The reason I'm telling you these stories and memories are because of the realization that although "I need help" was one of my first phrases as a child I have found it increasingly harder as an adult to ask for help. The past week or so has been as hard on me as, how I remember it, from when we first came home from the hospital with Molly. I have been doubting my ability to be a mother, understanding my child and her wants/needs, contributing to my little family, and not suffocating myself with pressure. The word "should" is a killer. There are so many expectations of what parents provide for their child, how they provide it, development milestones, on top of being an adult, paying bills, making meals, doing laundry, and trying to keep a child that can't communicate effectively alive.  I know that a lot of the pressure I put on myself isn't always realistic much less having the expectations set in stone. Molly will develop at her own rate and I should be there to guide and support her. I try to give my best everyday but sometimes my best is not making it out of drool covered pajamas or showering that day, but as long as she is fed and in pretty good health it is a successful day. We, as a society, do not live in the communities that foster a village raising a child. It is difficult to raise a child with no support, but I'm incredibly blessed to have the copious amounts of support, I just need to relearn how to ask for help again. 

Enough with sad stuff, today's Helpful Hint: An inexpensive way to put bumpers on furniture is with pool noodles, simply cut through the ring and creating a "c" from the "o" and wrap in around sharp edges of furniture.

Weekend Warriors!

Sleep Class

I've been very excited about this weekend because I would have a chance to attend a Sleep Class to help us with Molly's sleeping issues. Although we had a good day this week it wasn't easily repeated. The class was great and very informative! I highly recommend that you check out our teacher's (Mara Post of Mara's Sleeping Beauties) website and Facebook pages to learn about her free info sessions. Yesterday we started trying to implement the strategies learned but I was having a hard time listening to her cry while trying to falling asleep but it was worth it. She ended up falling asleep, with a little help from my husband, by 9pm and slept until 8am this morning. It was really nice because it allowed me to spend some time with my husband without Molly diverting our attention. I did breakdown crying badly while listening to her cry, I questioned whether I was doing what we learned correctly, whether there was something else wrong and she wasn't just fighting sleep, whether I was selfish for just wanting some quality time with my husband, but as parents sometimes we have to do hard things for progress in the long run and this was one of those times.

After the class we stopped by a used bookstore and picked up some cute books for Molly. Here is a picture of Joe reading a book to Molly. This always warms my heart!

Saturday Afternoon

In the afternoon I started to make the sweet potato puree. Low and behold Molly didn't hate it (my interpretation since she didn't immediately spit it out or make a disgusted face). She isn't quite sure what to make of it but ate, for her, quite a bit, which is also more than the carrots and yellow squash. She always wants what Daddy is eating. I think it helps that we sometimes, not the whole eating session, let her touch it and put some in her mouth so that she can get used to the texture.

Sunday, Sweet Potato Day 2

Tonight I fed her the sweet potato. I even ate a little bit myself which is huge! She kept grabbing at the spoon so finally I let her feed herself and as a result, it is all over her nose! Amazingly adorable! Very little of the sweet potato was spit back out so we are getting better at eating and hopefully will start to like a few foods.

 

Tonight we (Molly and I) are still struggling with the sleeping but it's getting better. No tears from Mom (#momcomplishment) and while I sat it the room, showing Molly my support, she tried to self soothe with her fingers (I could hear the muffled cries and see some fingers in the mouth). I had to leave the room after 18 minutes of her crying and when I picked her up she let out a huge burp, so apparently she was upset about her gas. Dad then got her to sleep but she just woke up a few minutes ago so Super Dad is getting her back to sleep, we'll see how it goes. I never want to know this parenting journey without my awesome co-parent! 

Helpful Hint: Make lists! It is really hard to try to remember stuff when you are exhausted and have a million things running through your mind. There is also a great sense of accomplishment when you can cross even the littlest tasks off the list.

It's a Sleeping Miracle!!

The past couple days have been rough. Molly has been fighting taking any naps during the day and fighting going to sleep at night. Dad and I are exhausted! Last night though there was a sleeping miracle! Molly went to be at 11pm and slept until 8:30am (which used to be her normal sleep schedule) and today took multiple hour long naps! We are still feeding her a few bites of carrots to get her used to the taste but she still doesn't enjoy it. Dad and I are excited about going to a sleep class for babies tomorrow so we can get advice on helping her sleep better.
Here is a cute picture of us in our matching Hufflepuff gear!

Night Out with the Girls

Last night Molly and I went out with 2 of my best friends to Panera for dinner. I suggested my friends walk ahead when we arrived since it would take me some time to get Molly into the stroller and get the diaper bag. I got in line to order and a woman in front of me was admiring Molly. She apologized for staring but I told her I completely understood, my daughter was adorable. A minute later as we were all still waiting to order she leaned over and asked me if I'd be offended if she bought me dinner. I told her that she didn't have to but she insisted. It was one of those moments that absolutely restores your faith in humanity and that maybe the world isn't as awful as it appears sometimes. The past month has been rough with my PPD and this was a ray of light in my dreary weeks. It absolutely made my week! Molly was a big girl and sat in a high chair. Here is a picture of her getting a loving kiss from Auntie Tara.

A Good Day

Today was a good day. I know I've written that already but I need to keep reminding myself that each day is different and to appreciate the good ones. Huge #momcomplishment and #mollycomplishment was that we went grocery shopping and Molly rode in the cart as you can see from the picture below. This is a huge deal because I used to have crippling anxiety just driving anywhere with Molly and going by myself to stores with her. Now I can drive around without having white knuckles all the time and having to remind myself to breathe. She had a lot of admirers in the store. Everyday I'm getting braver and braver. We also picked up a sweet potato and an apple to make into separate purees for Molly to try in the next week. Hopefully she will enjoy them.

 

Helpful Hint: While it is important to trim your child's nails it doesn't have to be done all in one go. I was very anxious about possibly cutting Molly's tiny fingers but I told myself to just cut one fingernail at a time. The clipping can be spread out throughout the day or week, do it at your own pace. 

Remember:

I Can't Wait to Have Patience!

I have never had patience as a child and I find that it is sometimes worse as an adult. I frequently sing the opening lines to this song (a relic from my childhood) to remind myself to have patience and did not look up the song until just now to share with you.

When a parent is sleep deprived having patience is difficult, now if you never had patience to begin with it, it can be even worse! I find that I get frustrated easily with Molly because she cannot communicate yet, even if I teach her baby sign language. As mothers we are frequently told that everything will come naturally, understanding your child, breastfeeding, child rearing and many more things but it doesn't. I hate not knowing what it wrong and how to fix it for Molly. I have tried identifying her different cries, go through the list of items and activities to that could fulfill her needs but her needs are constantly changing with her attention span. One solution might fix the problem one time and not the next. It really doesn't help when your hormones react to a crying child. I will admit that I am looking forward to hitting a period of time where things are a little more consistent for a little longer than 3 months. I just have to focus on meeting her needs and taking deep breaths.

Activities with Your Child

Other fellow SAHM (Stay-at-home-moms) will know that having a schedule can be important in providing structure but it isn't always easy to know what to do each and every day while making sure the schedule doesn't become monotonous. Here are a bunch of ways to get out and about with your kiddos that are usually free!
-check with your local library about any child activity classes (a great place to meet other parents!)
-find any local museums or zoos
-visit a park or playground (to find a local park or playground visit KaBoom! for their Map of Play)
-check out your city or county recreation department for classes and activities
What are your favorite resources?

Helpful Hint: Make sure to have a wet/dry bag in your diaper bag. What is a wet/dry bag? It is a bag (instead of tons of ziplocks or plastic grocery bags) that has 2 zippered compartments, one side to hold soiled clothing and the other side to hold clean clothing in case your or your child needs a change of clothing while out and about. I purchased mine from BoopitaBoutique, please check her out!

Sunday Funday

Today's eating adventure was much more successful with Grandma Jane (see below) and Daddy taking the reins. Molly ate a little bit of carrot puree from both. Dad's method, I believe, is ingenious, but not something I could do! He ate a little bit of the puree which led Molly to, of course, want some. She wasn't particularly thrilled with his devious ways but was tricked into eating it multiple times. No projectile vomiting this time!

Checking out the Lost Dog

 

For a late lunch we visited the Lost Dog in Alexandria where Molly enjoyed watching various sports games on the television. This is a novel experience for her since we don't own a television (we just don't really watch it and what we want to watch we can usually find on Netflix or can visit a bar).

As you can see we are all riveted. 

Welcome Fall!

Watch out, it's also allergy season for some. I want to take the time to recommend the Nose Frieda! It works every time getting the really difficult boogers out, better than the bulb at the hospital.

It has truly been a nose changer! 

Helpful Hint: If you really want a cute fall picture with pumpkins but can't make it out to a farm (or if you're allergic to hay like this mom) try getting pictures of your kids (best for babies due to their size) with pumpkins at wherever they are sold. We plan on visiting a church selling pumpkins or even a bin at the grocery store*!
*only do this if you feel it is safe, at our local store the pumpkins were sitting on little steps which makes it safer and easier.

Carrotastrophy

As you can tell by the title I'm practicing my mom jokes.

Last night was a long night. Molly woke up multiple times with odorous gas and needed to be cuddled back to sleep, not that I minded cuddling, but as a result I didn't get much sleep. Molly then spent the day enjoying hours of fun with Grandma Kris (from what little I could pry from her of their time together). When she finally came home she decided that she needed to wear the adorable zebra onesie that Grandma Kris made her. 

Carrotastrophy 

This evening we tried carrots for the first time. I had the strong belief that she would enjoy them because I ate a lot of them during my pregnancy and it is one of the few vegetables that I enjoy, this was not the case. I did not anticipate how difficult her reaction would wear on my emotions. She made the same disgusted faces as she did with the squash but I still had hope. It looked like she was successfully eating the carrots when she started gagging and vomiting. I immediately reacted and left her in the high chair, not to worry, Daddy was watching and supporting my efforts during the feeding. My own gag reflex reacted to her vomiting but I was able to control that, it was my emotions that unnerved me. I felt terrible, that I was forcing this food on her that she was finding repulsive and I didn't pick up on that. I understand that I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself. I just had high hopes for carrots that maybe she wouldn't be like me and have food issues. Yes, I know this is only her second food and that it is not necessarily indicative of anything but none the less it stirred up my emotions. After a quick emergency bath Molly and I cuddled on the couch while Dad was a superhero and cleaned up the mess. This might result in Daddy feeding her new foods while Mom does something else. 

Today's Helpful Hint: if at any point you have questions that you want to ask your pediatrician you can jot the questions down the the notes app of your phone to be asked at your next appointment. I often come up with questions and don't have paper and pen to readily write down my question to remember later so I have found this incredibly helpful. Obvious solutions are not always obvious when you are sleep deprived. 

On that note remember:

Day of Rest

Thursday is typically my day of rest, literally. I have an amazing Mother in Law, Grandma Jane, that comes and helps take care of Molly while I catch up on much needed sleep as well as go to my weekly therapy session. I am truly blessed to have her in my life and that she wants to help and see Molly. I'm incredibly lucky to have so many family members living close by to help especially when I'm having a particularly rough time of things. Today's post will be full of resources that I have found helpful and other helpful hints!

Rough Time

I feel as of late I've been having a particularly rough time since I'm switching medications. I put a lot of pressure on myself to give Molly the best childhood experience according to what research and experts tell me to do. I constantly fear that I will do something to emotionally scar her and she will grow up to resent me, but I know at some point in the future she will yell that she hates me (hopefully this won't happen until she is a teenager) at hopefully she won't mean it. Part of that I believe is just being a parent, where you want your child to have the best opportunities and want them to succeed and be happy in life. I found an article that is very helpful that I want to share with everyone, it is called "Am I Messing Up My Baby?" It is really helpful at acknowledging the feelings and reminding us that it is okay to make mistakes, the priorities are that your child is fed, bathed, cared for and loved, everything beyond that is extra.

Coping

When I get really upset I see if there is something close by, usually my husband, parents or mother in law that can watch Molly while I calm myself. If there is no one around I put her in her crib or secured in the car seat while I take some time. When I get that moment here are the tricks I use to help me cope:
-watch funny youtube videos
-tell myself that crying won't kill her
-remind myself that it isn't the end of the world and I probably won't even remember what upset me in a month
-eat some chocolate
-cuddle with something soft like a blanket
-look at pictures of my accomplishments with her
I also have a screenshot on my phone of questions to run through to help improve my mood.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow will bring a new day with their own challenges and I will get through it. All of you can do it too! I plan on cooking up some yummy carrots that Molly helped me pick out tonight for her to try. I enjoy eating carrots so I have faith that she will as well. 
Here is today's official Helpful Hint!
Helpful Hint: Advice from my mother to keep the baby warm while giving a bath is to wet a wash clothe with the warm bath water and place it on their chest. This will help keep them warm but remember to continue to pour warm water onto the wash cloth so it doesn't get cold.

Round 3: Tied

Here is the picture of Grandma's birthday present as promised. My attempt was to have her hands overlap on the fingers and have it look like a heart, we did the best that we could.

Molly and I joined Grandma and Grandpa at lunch to give Grandma her gift. Molly was upset that she couldn't see everything from her car seat so we tried sitting her in a high chair from the restaurant and it was a success! She was about table level and was able to see everything going on and was even enjoying playing with a spare basket. It was nice to eat a meal out with both of my hands and no screaming baby. She is very good at holding her head up and it working hard on sitting up by herself. It was a very exciting moment and #mollycomplishment!

 

Stalemate with Squash

For our third attempt at feeding Molly squash I alternated bites of rice cereal and squash. She did pretty well and ate more squash than the previous attempts but she still tried to spit it back out at times and gave me looks of disbelief that I would trick her. All in all she might not like squash but we will try it again in the future once she tries a few more foods. Next we will try carrots.

Parenting Struggles

Parenting is a tough job, I just never imagined that it would be this tough. Everyday brings new challenges. At this point in Molly's life I find myself easily frustrated with my inability to decipher what is wrong when she is crying or agitated as well as how to fix it. I know there are videos about understanding your baby's cry and for the most part my husband and I did hear differences in the beginning months. Since then there have been constant changes where actions or sounds now mean different things. There is a lot of talk that being a mother and parenting is supposed to come naturally, as if there is a specific gene that gets activated but it isn't true. It is really hard work that is constantly changing. It chips away at your self-esteem, not to mention your own self imagine as you navigate into a new identity. If you've given birth your body has made a bunch of changes from carrying your child to birthing and adjusting to sleep deprivation and possibly breast feeding, that doesn't even include the raging hormones as your body returns to its baselines and wrapping your head around the idea that there is now a new person completely dependent on your for every life essential. You have to focus on finding the "new normal" but that can take a while too. Today's Helpful Hint is something I'm still learning.

Helpful Hint: Cut yourself some slack. You will not be perfect and you shouldn't compare yourself to others on how they are parenting. Sometimes you just have to do the best that you can and have that be it, not everyday will be easy or good but keep fighting to do your best. 

Round 2: Molly v. Squash

Round 2 went much the same way as round 1, but this time I tried adding some milk and rice cereal, after she kept spiting out the yellow squash, to see if changing the texture to something that she enjoyed would make a difference. She managed to eat a little bit more of the mixture but when I went to make a second serving of that she'd decided that she had enough. From there we just gave her rice cereal in the same cup with the same spoon so there was a hint of the flavor and she ate it with gusto. Due to the fact that although we will try to feed her yellow squash again but most likely she won't eat much of it Dad will be figuring out how to make a meal with pureed yellow squash, I will make sure to report what was made and all the different ways you can make purred food that you're baby doesn't like into an interesting adult meal. As you can see from the picture below she loves to eat and is now trying to take it, literally, into her own hands.

 

Art Project

Tomorrow is Grandma Kris' birthday (my mother) and this evening Mom and Molly made her a present. We are not previewing the present as she reads this blog and we want her to be surprised with the result tomorrow. This is Molly in her art smock in preparation. I will have a picture of the result tomorrow. Molly really really enjoyed the experience with new textures.

Helpful Hint: I have learned from my sister, a mother of 2, how useful art smocks from Ikea can be used as a full body bib for when your child plays with their food and smears it everywhere. It protects the clothing and it easily wiped clean. 

Fighting my PPD

I know that not all parents enjoy arts and crafts or have the time and patience to do so with their children but this is something I enjoyed in my pre-Molly life and wanted to continue. I find that it is important to my well-being to continue doing some of the activities I did before having a child and this is one of those activities. It isn't always pretty or easy but it means a lot to me. Having physical, visual reminders of my accomplishments with my daughter to supplement my memories helps me fight by PPD. 

When Molly and I first came home from the hospital I really struggled with feeling useful because I stayed in bed for the most part recovering from my surgery and couldn't do a lot to help. I asked my husband, parents and mother in law to take pictures of my interactions with Molly whether it be feeding her, cuddling her, bathing her or anything else. I made photo books (FreePrints Photobooks App and Shutterfly) to help remind myself that I was helping and engaging with her. Now I also make these books for my husband, to show my appreciation of everything he does to help and how wonderful he is with her. 

Being a parent is the scariest thing I have ever done in my life and I often sit in awe of this miracle that I not only help make, but am helping shape into a, hopefully, beautiful and wonderful human. I keep my focus on getting through one day at a time and try to plan fun bonding activities that Molly and I can do together. It is hard living with someone that cannot effectively communicate and relies on you for everything, I am constantly guessing and second guessing what the problem might be and ways that I might resolve it. My husband has said it best: Raising a child gives you the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

Trying food for the FIRST TIME!!!

We have decided to give Molly her first taste of "real" food; she's already had rice cereal, breast milk, and formula and done well with all of them. As per the recommendation of our pediatrician we started with vegetables and we chose yellow squash. She is usually a huge fan of eating (I can't keep up with her, hence supplementing with formula. I have nothing against formula since that is what I was raised on as a baby) but she was not a fan of yellow squash. These are the many faces she gave us.

 

I felt terrible making her eat something that I don't even enjoy. It was hard on me emotionally making her do something she obviously doesn't want to do, but I have to keep telling myself that I'm doing this for her. She needs to learn how to eat and I'd really appreciate if she doesn't get my taste and texture issues when it comes to food. I will say this though, because I'm making her food from home I felt good about knowing what was in her food and that I actually made it since I'm not that great at cooking in general. I do want to mention that I highly recommend these spoons from Re-Play:

They are the perfect size to put just a little bit of food and getting it into her mouth. We had previously tried other spoons that were just too big. Not only that, but they are made from recycled plastic milk jugs! So it helps us teach Molly to be green in the things that she is using, although I think she might be a little too young to get the message at the moment.

The super cute bandana/bib is from Kolamom.

  

These bandanas are primarily used for drool but we are using them for everything because you can just toss them in the wash. They are incredibly soft and Molly doesn't get as upset when we use them to wipe her mouth after eating, which is a miracle if your child is like mine and screams and cries when you try to wipe their face, hence why I recommend them!

Although this feeding attempt wasn't the most successful (we ended up just feeding her rice cereal after a few bites and Molly spitting it out) we will continue to try again over the next few days to hopefully adjust her to the taste and texture. I will consider this a #momcomplishment!

Disclaimer:  Please use the links to the products above if you are interested in purchasing anything that I am recommending because the sale does earn me a little money which in turn helps significantly as a SAHM trying to save for Molly's college....or therapy.

Mommy and Molly Introduction

I wanted to take a moment and introduce myself so you can know me and where I'm coming from as a Mom. I'm a 32 year old stay at home mom (SAHM) of Molly, who is currently 5 months old. I'm writing this blog as a resource of information, suggestions of products I love, and stories about my adventures with Molly. By no means is any of the information I recommend universal for every parent or every child, it is just what has worked for me. I am not a medical professional so if there are any questions about development or anything in that vein I would recommend seeking the advice of a medical professional.

Molly and I had some difficulties during the pregnancy and she was delivered via c-section at 39 weeks but she has since had no real issues and is growing up well, as well as a baby can. I, on the other hand, am experiencing some postpartum depression and anxiety (PPD/PPA) due to the overwhelming realizations of what being a parent entails.

At this time I would like to stand on my soap box for a moment:

If you are having problems with depression or anxiety I highly recommend speaking to your physician and/or pediatrician about it and reaching out to some resources such as Postpartum Support International. Not only is it good to know your resources but it is also a means of connecting with other moms (in case you are having trouble making new mom friends).

End of soap box moment.

 I hope that you will join Molly and I as we navigate this new world as parent and child. If you have any questions please feel free to reach out to me through the comments. Together we can celebrate #momcomplishments and #dadcomplishments, motivate one another and strive to make the world a wonderful place for our children.