Carrotastrophy

As you can tell by the title I'm practicing my mom jokes.

Last night was a long night. Molly woke up multiple times with odorous gas and needed to be cuddled back to sleep, not that I minded cuddling, but as a result I didn't get much sleep. Molly then spent the day enjoying hours of fun with Grandma Kris (from what little I could pry from her of their time together). When she finally came home she decided that she needed to wear the adorable zebra onesie that Grandma Kris made her. 

Carrotastrophy 

This evening we tried carrots for the first time. I had the strong belief that she would enjoy them because I ate a lot of them during my pregnancy and it is one of the few vegetables that I enjoy, this was not the case. I did not anticipate how difficult her reaction would wear on my emotions. She made the same disgusted faces as she did with the squash but I still had hope. It looked like she was successfully eating the carrots when she started gagging and vomiting. I immediately reacted and left her in the high chair, not to worry, Daddy was watching and supporting my efforts during the feeding. My own gag reflex reacted to her vomiting but I was able to control that, it was my emotions that unnerved me. I felt terrible, that I was forcing this food on her that she was finding repulsive and I didn't pick up on that. I understand that I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself. I just had high hopes for carrots that maybe she wouldn't be like me and have food issues. Yes, I know this is only her second food and that it is not necessarily indicative of anything but none the less it stirred up my emotions. After a quick emergency bath Molly and I cuddled on the couch while Dad was a superhero and cleaned up the mess. This might result in Daddy feeding her new foods while Mom does something else. 

Today's Helpful Hint: if at any point you have questions that you want to ask your pediatrician you can jot the questions down the the notes app of your phone to be asked at your next appointment. I often come up with questions and don't have paper and pen to readily write down my question to remember later so I have found this incredibly helpful. Obvious solutions are not always obvious when you are sleep deprived. 

On that note remember:

Day of Rest

Thursday is typically my day of rest, literally. I have an amazing Mother in Law, Grandma Jane, that comes and helps take care of Molly while I catch up on much needed sleep as well as go to my weekly therapy session. I am truly blessed to have her in my life and that she wants to help and see Molly. I'm incredibly lucky to have so many family members living close by to help especially when I'm having a particularly rough time of things. Today's post will be full of resources that I have found helpful and other helpful hints!

Rough Time

I feel as of late I've been having a particularly rough time since I'm switching medications. I put a lot of pressure on myself to give Molly the best childhood experience according to what research and experts tell me to do. I constantly fear that I will do something to emotionally scar her and she will grow up to resent me, but I know at some point in the future she will yell that she hates me (hopefully this won't happen until she is a teenager) at hopefully she won't mean it. Part of that I believe is just being a parent, where you want your child to have the best opportunities and want them to succeed and be happy in life. I found an article that is very helpful that I want to share with everyone, it is called "Am I Messing Up My Baby?" It is really helpful at acknowledging the feelings and reminding us that it is okay to make mistakes, the priorities are that your child is fed, bathed, cared for and loved, everything beyond that is extra.

Coping

When I get really upset I see if there is something close by, usually my husband, parents or mother in law that can watch Molly while I calm myself. If there is no one around I put her in her crib or secured in the car seat while I take some time. When I get that moment here are the tricks I use to help me cope:
-watch funny youtube videos
-tell myself that crying won't kill her
-remind myself that it isn't the end of the world and I probably won't even remember what upset me in a month
-eat some chocolate
-cuddle with something soft like a blanket
-look at pictures of my accomplishments with her
I also have a screenshot on my phone of questions to run through to help improve my mood.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow will bring a new day with their own challenges and I will get through it. All of you can do it too! I plan on cooking up some yummy carrots that Molly helped me pick out tonight for her to try. I enjoy eating carrots so I have faith that she will as well. 
Here is today's official Helpful Hint!
Helpful Hint: Advice from my mother to keep the baby warm while giving a bath is to wet a wash clothe with the warm bath water and place it on their chest. This will help keep them warm but remember to continue to pour warm water onto the wash cloth so it doesn't get cold.

Round 3: Tied

Here is the picture of Grandma's birthday present as promised. My attempt was to have her hands overlap on the fingers and have it look like a heart, we did the best that we could.

Molly and I joined Grandma and Grandpa at lunch to give Grandma her gift. Molly was upset that she couldn't see everything from her car seat so we tried sitting her in a high chair from the restaurant and it was a success! She was about table level and was able to see everything going on and was even enjoying playing with a spare basket. It was nice to eat a meal out with both of my hands and no screaming baby. She is very good at holding her head up and it working hard on sitting up by herself. It was a very exciting moment and #mollycomplishment!

 

Stalemate with Squash

For our third attempt at feeding Molly squash I alternated bites of rice cereal and squash. She did pretty well and ate more squash than the previous attempts but she still tried to spit it back out at times and gave me looks of disbelief that I would trick her. All in all she might not like squash but we will try it again in the future once she tries a few more foods. Next we will try carrots.

Parenting Struggles

Parenting is a tough job, I just never imagined that it would be this tough. Everyday brings new challenges. At this point in Molly's life I find myself easily frustrated with my inability to decipher what is wrong when she is crying or agitated as well as how to fix it. I know there are videos about understanding your baby's cry and for the most part my husband and I did hear differences in the beginning months. Since then there have been constant changes where actions or sounds now mean different things. There is a lot of talk that being a mother and parenting is supposed to come naturally, as if there is a specific gene that gets activated but it isn't true. It is really hard work that is constantly changing. It chips away at your self-esteem, not to mention your own self imagine as you navigate into a new identity. If you've given birth your body has made a bunch of changes from carrying your child to birthing and adjusting to sleep deprivation and possibly breast feeding, that doesn't even include the raging hormones as your body returns to its baselines and wrapping your head around the idea that there is now a new person completely dependent on your for every life essential. You have to focus on finding the "new normal" but that can take a while too. Today's Helpful Hint is something I'm still learning.

Helpful Hint: Cut yourself some slack. You will not be perfect and you shouldn't compare yourself to others on how they are parenting. Sometimes you just have to do the best that you can and have that be it, not everyday will be easy or good but keep fighting to do your best. 

Round 2: Molly v. Squash

Round 2 went much the same way as round 1, but this time I tried adding some milk and rice cereal, after she kept spiting out the yellow squash, to see if changing the texture to something that she enjoyed would make a difference. She managed to eat a little bit more of the mixture but when I went to make a second serving of that she'd decided that she had enough. From there we just gave her rice cereal in the same cup with the same spoon so there was a hint of the flavor and she ate it with gusto. Due to the fact that although we will try to feed her yellow squash again but most likely she won't eat much of it Dad will be figuring out how to make a meal with pureed yellow squash, I will make sure to report what was made and all the different ways you can make purred food that you're baby doesn't like into an interesting adult meal. As you can see from the picture below she loves to eat and is now trying to take it, literally, into her own hands.

 

Art Project

Tomorrow is Grandma Kris' birthday (my mother) and this evening Mom and Molly made her a present. We are not previewing the present as she reads this blog and we want her to be surprised with the result tomorrow. This is Molly in her art smock in preparation. I will have a picture of the result tomorrow. Molly really really enjoyed the experience with new textures.

Helpful Hint: I have learned from my sister, a mother of 2, how useful art smocks from Ikea can be used as a full body bib for when your child plays with their food and smears it everywhere. It protects the clothing and it easily wiped clean. 

Fighting my PPD

I know that not all parents enjoy arts and crafts or have the time and patience to do so with their children but this is something I enjoyed in my pre-Molly life and wanted to continue. I find that it is important to my well-being to continue doing some of the activities I did before having a child and this is one of those activities. It isn't always pretty or easy but it means a lot to me. Having physical, visual reminders of my accomplishments with my daughter to supplement my memories helps me fight by PPD. 

When Molly and I first came home from the hospital I really struggled with feeling useful because I stayed in bed for the most part recovering from my surgery and couldn't do a lot to help. I asked my husband, parents and mother in law to take pictures of my interactions with Molly whether it be feeding her, cuddling her, bathing her or anything else. I made photo books (FreePrints Photobooks App and Shutterfly) to help remind myself that I was helping and engaging with her. Now I also make these books for my husband, to show my appreciation of everything he does to help and how wonderful he is with her. 

Being a parent is the scariest thing I have ever done in my life and I often sit in awe of this miracle that I not only help make, but am helping shape into a, hopefully, beautiful and wonderful human. I keep my focus on getting through one day at a time and try to plan fun bonding activities that Molly and I can do together. It is hard living with someone that cannot effectively communicate and relies on you for everything, I am constantly guessing and second guessing what the problem might be and ways that I might resolve it. My husband has said it best: Raising a child gives you the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

Trying food for the FIRST TIME!!!

We have decided to give Molly her first taste of "real" food; she's already had rice cereal, breast milk, and formula and done well with all of them. As per the recommendation of our pediatrician we started with vegetables and we chose yellow squash. She is usually a huge fan of eating (I can't keep up with her, hence supplementing with formula. I have nothing against formula since that is what I was raised on as a baby) but she was not a fan of yellow squash. These are the many faces she gave us.

 

I felt terrible making her eat something that I don't even enjoy. It was hard on me emotionally making her do something she obviously doesn't want to do, but I have to keep telling myself that I'm doing this for her. She needs to learn how to eat and I'd really appreciate if she doesn't get my taste and texture issues when it comes to food. I will say this though, because I'm making her food from home I felt good about knowing what was in her food and that I actually made it since I'm not that great at cooking in general. I do want to mention that I highly recommend these spoons from Re-Play:

They are the perfect size to put just a little bit of food and getting it into her mouth. We had previously tried other spoons that were just too big. Not only that, but they are made from recycled plastic milk jugs! So it helps us teach Molly to be green in the things that she is using, although I think she might be a little too young to get the message at the moment.

The super cute bandana/bib is from Kolamom.

  

These bandanas are primarily used for drool but we are using them for everything because you can just toss them in the wash. They are incredibly soft and Molly doesn't get as upset when we use them to wipe her mouth after eating, which is a miracle if your child is like mine and screams and cries when you try to wipe their face, hence why I recommend them!

Although this feeding attempt wasn't the most successful (we ended up just feeding her rice cereal after a few bites and Molly spitting it out) we will continue to try again over the next few days to hopefully adjust her to the taste and texture. I will consider this a #momcomplishment!

Disclaimer:  Please use the links to the products above if you are interested in purchasing anything that I am recommending because the sale does earn me a little money which in turn helps significantly as a SAHM trying to save for Molly's college....or therapy.

Mommy and Molly Introduction

I wanted to take a moment and introduce myself so you can know me and where I'm coming from as a Mom. I'm a 32 year old stay at home mom (SAHM) of Molly, who is currently 5 months old. I'm writing this blog as a resource of information, suggestions of products I love, and stories about my adventures with Molly. By no means is any of the information I recommend universal for every parent or every child, it is just what has worked for me. I am not a medical professional so if there are any questions about development or anything in that vein I would recommend seeking the advice of a medical professional.

Molly and I had some difficulties during the pregnancy and she was delivered via c-section at 39 weeks but she has since had no real issues and is growing up well, as well as a baby can. I, on the other hand, am experiencing some postpartum depression and anxiety (PPD/PPA) due to the overwhelming realizations of what being a parent entails.

At this time I would like to stand on my soap box for a moment:

If you are having problems with depression or anxiety I highly recommend speaking to your physician and/or pediatrician about it and reaching out to some resources such as Postpartum Support International. Not only is it good to know your resources but it is also a means of connecting with other moms (in case you are having trouble making new mom friends).

End of soap box moment.

 I hope that you will join Molly and I as we navigate this new world as parent and child. If you have any questions please feel free to reach out to me through the comments. Together we can celebrate #momcomplishments and #dadcomplishments, motivate one another and strive to make the world a wonderful place for our children.